When I was 13....

When I was 13, I thought I was so tough. I thought that no one could tell me what to do unless I agreed on it. I was beyond excited to be called a 'teenager' finally. It felt like I was starting to become an adult. I had started high school and was determined to break my 'nice/shy girl' appearance. I used to get teased all the time because of how shy I was with everyone. I don't think anyone knew I even existed sometimes. Up until high school, a teacher was lucky if she could get 3 sentences out of me the entire year. I just didn't feel like it was necessary to talk...and yes, some of that has followed me to this day. Highschool was an opportunity for me to start off a new reputation for myself. Unlike the majority of my friends, I ended up going to a Catholic Highschool (which I will NEVER subject my children to) that was in another town and the students came from all over. It took some time for me to have the guts to make new friends, but once I did, I found out that I could actually be outgoing if I wanted to be. I LOVED the friends that I made. My friends and I started acting out in class and talking back to the teachers that 'pissed us off'. Before I knew it, me and my friends were sitting in detention everyday after school; loving the fact that we were considered 'bad'. I started getting into the music scene and went to shows every weekend. I began wearing heavy dark eyeliner and either very baggy or very tight clothes. My mom had no idea what to do with me. My friends and my music were my life. I thought there were no boundaries and that everyone who got in my way was just looking for a fight. Freshmen year in high school was the first time I tried smoking marijuana. This seemed to be the popular thing between my friends. I never thought of the consequences or even cared. Needless to say, this behavior increased and became much worse as I went throughout highschool. I'm not ashamed at all of how I acted in highschool, although some people might think that I should be. It was who I was and it was how i grew into the person that I am today. I think that in life you are bound to make mistakes, and you can either learn from them or gain nothing from them and be ashamed of yourself. I decided to learn from whatever mistakes I made and use them to my advantage.